Placeholder Content Image

‘Parenting expert’ claims high-fiving children is inappropriate

<p dir="ltr">A celebratory gesture has been deemed inappropriate for children by a journalist and self-proclaimed ‘parenting expert’.</p> <p dir="ltr">John Rosemand claimed that the high-five is a “gesture of familiarity, to be exchanged between equals” and that “children should know their place”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I have traded the palm slap with adult friends. “Dude! Gimme five!” I can be, and am, as cool as the next — the next adult, that is,” he wrote in the <em><a href="https://omaha.com/ap/lifestyles/living-with-children-you-shouldnt-high-five-a-child/article_3ebb452a-40df-11ed-900e-07bdd647c271.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Omaha World-Herald</a></em>.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I will not slap the upraised palm of a person who is not my peer, and a peer is someone over age 21, emancipated, employed and paying their own way.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Rosemand also declared that high-fives were off the table for employers and employees, doctors and patients, and grandparents and grandchildren, as well as stating that the President of the United States shouldn’t high-five anyone.</p> <p dir="ltr">The journalist went on to explain that high-fives are “not compatible with respect”, and that respecting adults “is important to a child’s character development”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Children should know their place. Adults should know their place. The more adults and children commingle as if they are equals, the more problematic become their relationships,” he concludes.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Why should a child obey an adult who high-fives him? And make no mistake, the happiest kids are also the most obedient. The research says so, as does one’s common sense.”</p> <p dir="ltr">While Rosemand claims there is research for the connection between obedience and happiness in kids, there have been multiple studies on the psychological effects of high-fives, including the benefits for children.</p> <p dir="ltr"><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4145712/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">One study</a>, published in the journal <em>Frontiers in Psychology</em>, found that high-fives and other forms of ambiguous praise (praise that is less explicit, such as a thumbs up) are effective motivators for children.</p> <p dir="ltr">In fact, high-fives could be one of the best ways of praising children, with the study finding that children evaluated themselves and drawings they did more favourably than those who received verbal praise.</p> <p dir="ltr">Since Rosemand’s article was published, it has been the subject of criticism on social media.</p> <p dir="ltr">"My personal goal today was to respond to emails but now it's high-fiving every kid I see," one user said on Twitter.</p> <p dir="ltr">"Imagine being so obsessed with where you stand in a social hierarchy relative to others in it that you think basic gestures of humanity ought to be withheld from your inferiors for the sake of decorum," another tweeted.</p> <p dir="ltr">"He's wrong on this one, and this doctor high-fives patients. I still command respect. Maybe he's doing something incorrectly," a third suggested.</p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-16bb7345-7fff-0759-ce81-fc6926736595"></span></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: Getty Images</em></p>

Lifestyle

Placeholder Content Image

Dogs cry ‘happy tears’ when reunited with their favourite humans

<p dir="ltr">Along with frenzied tail-wagging and plenty of face licks, new research suggests that dogs can even shed tears when they’re happy to see you.</p> <p dir="ltr">Takefumi Kikusui, a researcher in the school of veterinary medicine at Japan’s Azabu University, first observed the phenomenon six years ago while watching his poodle nurse her puppies, when he noticed there were tears in her eyes.</p> <p dir="ltr">“That gave me the idea that oxytocin might increase tears,” he said.</p> <p dir="ltr">Oxytocin is known as the maternal or “love hormone”, Kikusui explained, with previous research finding that the hormone is released in both dogs and their owners when they interact.</p> <p dir="ltr">To test their teary theory, Kikusui and his colleagues decided to run an experiment where they reunited dogs with their familiar humans, as well as with strangers, and measured the volume of tears in the dogs’ eyes before and after.</p> <p dir="ltr">Publishing their findings in the journal <em><a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cub.2022.07.031" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Current Biology</a></em>, the scientists found that tear volume increased when the pooches returned to their favourite humans, but not with a person they didn’t know.</p> <p dir="ltr">In a second experiment, the team added oxytocin to the dogs’ eyes to see whether there was a connection to the tears. With the tear volume also going up after oxytocin was added, they concluded that it was proof that oxytocin plays a role in tear production when dogs interact with their owners.</p> <p dir="ltr">Surprisingly, when they asked people to rate dog faces with and without tears, people gave more positive responses to photos of teary-eyed pups, suggesting that tear production in dogs also helps them and their owners forge stronger connections.</p> <p dir="ltr">“We had never heard of the discovery that animals shed tears in joyful situations, such as reuniting with their owners, and we were all excited that this would be a world first!” Kikusui said.</p> <p dir="ltr">Having found that dogs produce tears in situations we’d consider ‘happy’, future work will look to see how teary they get in response to negative emotions and whether being teary plays a social role in how dogs interact with each other.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Dogs have become a partner of humans, and we can form bonds,” Kikusui said. </p> <p dir="ltr">“In this process, it is possible that the dogs that show teary eyes during interaction with the owner would be cared for by the owner more.”</p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-2be14e3c-7fff-ae30-980c-cb1393604fd2"></span></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: Getty Images</em></p>

Lifestyle

Placeholder Content Image

Happy ending for four-legged wedding crasher

<p dir="ltr">When a couple’s special day was interrupted by a stray dog, not only did he steal the show, but he stole their hearts too.</p> <p dir="ltr">Tamíris Muzini and Douglas Robert were preparing for their wedding ceremony at a church in the city of Vila Velha, on Brazil’s southeastern coast, when a stray dog joined the 150 invited guests in attending, as reported by the <em><a href="https://nypost.com/2022/08/08/a-stray-dog-who-was-adopted-after-crashing-a-wedding/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">NY Post</a></em>.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Before the ceremony started [the dog] entered the church and went straight upstairs, where he met the groom and guests,” Muzini told the outlet.</p> <p dir="ltr">After that he returned downstairs, where he lay outside the door until Muzini arrived.</p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-7d746523-7fff-6404-d090-05ab5f9440cf"></span></p> <p dir="ltr">“He stayed there, just waiting for me to enter,” she said.</p> <p dir="ltr"><img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2022/08/wedding-dog2.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>A stray dog that gatecrashed Tamíris Muzini and Douglas Robert’s wedding has since become a member of their family. Image: @caramelodejesus (Instagram)</em></p> <p dir="ltr">As the crowd turned to watch her come down the aisle, they were greeted by the sight of the stray doing the same.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Everyone was delighted with him because he is very cute and was super comfortable there,” Muzini added.</p> <p dir="ltr">The sweet pooch watched as Muzini and Robert exchanged vows, then ran up to them as they left the church, jumping up to pose for photos with them.</p> <p dir="ltr">“When he greeted us at the end, he asked, “Take me home. Take me,’” she told <em>TheDodo.com</em>.</p> <p dir="ltr">Having stolen the couple’s hearts, they made him a part of their family - and quickly came up with a name for him.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Everyone started calling him Caramelo, and that was it,” Muzini told the <em>Post</em>.</p> <p dir="ltr">With a first name fitting his golden coat, Muzini and Robert decided his full name would be Caramelo de Jesus “because, without a doubt, he was sent to us by God”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“It was surreal and inexplicable,: Muzini said.</p> <p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-17adbbe6-7fff-b856-570e-204081cc5611"></span></p> <p dir="ltr">“He marked an important day in our history. He was part of our big moment and he enchanted us with his charisma.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2022/08/wedding-dog1.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Caramelo even posed for photos with the newly-wed couple. Image: @caramelodejesus (Instagram)</em></p> <p dir="ltr">Ever since, Caramelo has become an inseparable part of the newlywed’s family - even earning himself his own social media profile where the family’s adventures are shared.</p> <p dir="ltr">“In the one month we’ve shared, we have had several adventures with him,” Muzini said. “Each day is a different surprise.</p> <p dir="ltr">“One day he pees in the kitchen, another day he climbs on top of cars, then he steals grandma’s bread and runs away with it.</p> <p dir="ltr">“But every day, he is sad when we go out to work. He welcomes us home with jumps, hugs and kisses when we return.”</p> <p dir="ltr">With all his antics, Muzini said Caramelo is preparing her for motherhood.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Undoubtedly, Caramelo is a beautiful training for a not-too-distant future with a human son,” she said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“He’s like a naughty child, but he is also very docile and super loving. He fills us with so much love all the time.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-8a9377bf-7fff-0ff6-a040-3f35b2f02e01"></span></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: @caramelodejesus (Instagram)</em></p>

Lifestyle

Placeholder Content Image

Love and a happy ending: Romance fiction to help you through a coronavirus lockdown

<p>Romance fiction has two <a href="https://www.rwa.org/Online/Romance_Genre/About_Romance_Genre.aspx">defining features</a>.</p> <p>First, it centres on a love story. Secondly, it always ends well.</p> <p>Our protagonists end up together (if not forever, then at least for the foreseeable future) and this makes the world around them a little bit better, too.</p> <p>In times of uncertainty, upheaval and chaos, readers often turn to romance fiction: during the second world war, Mills &amp; Boon was able to maintain its paper ration <a href="https://www.oxfordscholarship.com/view/10.1093/acprof:oso/9780198204558.001.0001/acprof-9780198204558">by arguing</a> its books were good for the morale of working women.</p> <p>The books the company was producing in this period were not about the war. Most never even mentioned it. Instead, they provided an escape for readers to a world where they could be assured everything was going to turn out all right: love would conquer all, villains would be defeated, and lovers would always find their way back to each other.</p> <p>Today, romance publishing is a <a href="https://www.rwa.org/Online/Romance_Genre/About_Romance_Genre.aspx">billion-dollar industry</a>, with thousands of novels published each year. It covers a wide range of subgenres: from historical to contemporary, paranormal to sci-fi, from novels where the only physical interaction between the protagonists is a kiss, to erotic romance where sex is fundamental to the story.</p> <p><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rule_34_(Internet_meme)">Rule 34</a> of the internet states if you can think of something, then there’s porn of it. The same, I would argue, is true for romance fiction.</p> <p>But where to begin? As both a scholar of romance fiction and an avid reader of it, I’ve put together this list of five great reads for people who might want to start exploring the genre.</p> <p><strong>If you like Jane Austen, try…</strong></p> <p><strong><em><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/42279630-the-austen-playbook">The Austen Playbook</a></em> by Lucy Parker</strong></p> <p><em>The Austen Playbook</em> is the fourth book in Parker’s London Celebrities series (all only loosely connected, so you can jump in anywhere).</p> <p>Heroine Freddy is an actress from an esteemed West End family, trying to balance her desire to perform in musicals and crowd-pleasers over her family pushing her towards serious drama. Hero Griff is a theatre critic and his family estate is playing host to a wacky live-action Jane Austen murder mystery, in which Freddy is playing Lydia.</p> <p>Parker is a gifted author, and this book is a light, bright and sparkling delight.</p> <p><strong>If you like (or hate!) dating apps, try…</strong></p> <p><strong><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/39863092-the-right-swipe"><em>The Right Swipe</em></a> by Alisha Rai</strong></p> <p>Many people now find partners on dating apps, but these apps are often <a href="https://theconversation.com/right-swipes-and-red-flags-how-young-people-negotiate-sex-and-safety-on-dating-apps-128390">not exactly friendly</a> for women.</p> <p>Rai addresses that to great effect in <em>The Right Swipe</em>, where heroine Rhiannon is the designer of a dating app designed specifically for women.</p> <p>She meets hero Samson the first time as a result of swiping right, and then the second time, months later, when he’s teamed up with one of her primary business rivals…</p> <p><strong>If you’re fascinated by psychology, try …</strong></p> <p><strong><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/35852829-the-love-experiment"><em>The Love Experiment</em></a> by Ainslie Paton</strong></p> <p>Paton is one of Australia’s smartest and most underrated romance authors. <em>The Love Experiment</em> draws on the <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0146167297234003">36 questions</a> developed by psychologist Arthur Aron to explore whether intimacy could be generated or intensified between two people if they exchanged increasingly personal information.</p> <p>The 36 questions were popularised in Mandy Len Catron’s 2015 New York Times essay <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/style/modern-love-to-fall-in-love-with-anyone-do-this.html"><em>To Fall In Love With Anyone, Do This</em></a>. Here, journalist protagonists Derelie and Jackson undertake the experiment in Paton’s book, only to find love is more complex than 36 questions.</p> <p><strong>If you think we need to save the oceans, try…</strong></p> <p><strong><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/42016094-project-saving-noah"><em>Project Saving Noah</em></a> by Six de los Reyes</strong></p> <p>This book emerges from <a href="https://romanceclassbooks.com/about/">RomanceClass</a>, a fascinating community of English-language romance writers and readers based in the Philippines. One of their distinctive features is their collaboration with local actors in Manila to perform excerpts from the books (including <em>Project Saving Noah</em>) at their <a href="https://romanceclassbooks.com/live-reading/aprilfeelsday2019/">regular gatherings</a>. I was privileged enough to attend one of these last year.</p> <p>Protagonists Noah and Lise are graduate students in oceanography competing for one spot on a research project, while simultaneously being forced to work together. Their romance is conflicted and compelling, but what stands out about this book is the vividness with which their environment – natural and academic – is constructed.</p> <p><strong>If you like your protagonists to have some maturity, try…</strong></p> <p><strong><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/44084867-mrs-martin-s-incomparable-adventure"><em>Mrs Martin’s Incomparable Adventure</em></a> by Courtney Milan</strong></p> <p>If Milan’s name sounds familiar, it’s because she was at the centre of the <a href="https://theconversation.com/if-the-romance-writers-of-america-can-implode-over-racism-no-group-is-safe-130034">recent scandal</a> engulfing the Romance Writers of America, which penetrated through romance’s usual cultural invisibility.</p> <p>When she’s not standing up against systemic racism, Milan writes excellent, mostly historical, romance. Mrs Martin is a delightful historical romp, as our two heroines Bertrice (aged 73) and Violetta (aged 69) team up against Violetta’s terrible nephew, and fall in love and eat cheese on toast together.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/133784/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jodi-mcalister-135765">Jodi McAlister</a>, Lecturer in Writing, Literature and Culture, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a></em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/love-and-a-happy-ending-romance-fiction-to-help-you-through-a-coronavirus-lockdown-133784">original article</a>.</em></p>

Entertainment

Placeholder Content Image

How to keep your cat happy indoors according to science

<p>By 2030, 60% of the world’s population <a href="https://www.un.org/en/development/desa/population/publications/pdf/urbanization/the_worlds_cities_in_2016_data_booklet.pdf">will live in cities</a>, while one in three will share their city with at least half a million other inhabitants. With more and more people living in dense urban settings, what does the future hold for pets?</p> <p>High-rise living <a href="https://www.purina.co.uk/cats/getting-a-new-cat/finding-the-right-cat-for-me/dog-or-cat-how-to-choose-the-right-pet-for-you">might not be ideal for most pets</a>, as outdoor access can be difficult and there may be limited space indoors. For cats in particular, a trend towards indoor lifestyles might restrict how much they’re able to behave normally.</p> <p>As the domesticated descendants of the African wild cat, cats are obligate carnivores – they need to have a meat-based diet. Naturally, this requires them to <a href="https://theconversation.com/is-there-a-killer-in-your-kennel-billions-of-wild-animals-fall-victim-to-pet-cats-and-dogs-33199">hunt</a>. A study <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/ncomms2380">in the US</a> found that pet cats could be killing up to four billion birds and up to 21 billion mammals every year.</p> <p>So housebound cats may be good for wildlife, but how can people ensure their pets thrive indoors? Sadly, scientific research is pretty light on this question. Despite so many of us inviting them into our homes, we know relatively little about <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0168159119301054">how cats handle living inside</a>.</p> <p><span class="attribution"><a href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/cat-waiting-on-top-birdhouse-kitten-776578606?src=7fce4dc1-901e-4090-9867-0213b0542040-1-0" class="source"></a></span><strong>Choosing the right cat</strong></p> <p>We know that some cats are more suited to being house cats than others, although we need to be careful not to generalise. All cats have <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/1098612X13477537">individual needs</a>, <a href="https://books.google.co.uk/books/about/The_Cat_Personality_Test.html?id=v0iIDwAAQBAJ&amp;source=kp_book_description&amp;redir_esc=y">personalities and preferences</a>. High energy and hyperactive cats, rescued strays with little indoor experience or those that aren’t very friendly towards people aren’t good choices for a life lived entirely indoors.</p> <p>It’s often assumed that older cats may be a better choice because they’re more sedentary and cats with a previous history of living indoors may also adjust more easily to a new indoor home. Some cats have diseases, such as feline immunodeficiency virus, that keep them housebound. But this doesn’t mean these groups of cats will all have the right temperament to cope with indoor living.</p> <p>House cats are prone to obesity and may spend large amounts of time inactive, both physically and mentally. Providing a <a href="https://www.battersea.org.uk/pet-advice/cat-care-advice/enriching-your-garden-or-outside-space">safe</a> outdoor space for cats could be <a href="https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0211862">beneficial for their wellbeing</a>. <a href="https://protectapet.com">Cat proofing</a> gardens, for example, so they can’t escape, could ensure pets can benefit from the outdoors in a more controlled way. But if this isn’t possible, there’s still much that can be done to improve a cat’s life indoors.</p> <p><strong>Personal space</strong></p> <p>Because cats are only considered semi-social, indoor environments may present several situations that they would <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/1098612X13477537">usually choose to avoid</a>. This can be anything from too much attention and unexpected guests to toddlers and other animals that don’t understand the concept of <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-stroke-a-cat-according-to-science-116025">mutual respect and personal space</a>.</p> <hr /> <p><em> <strong> Read more: <a href="http://theconversation.com/how-to-stroke-a-cat-according-to-science-116025">How to stroke a cat, according to science</a> </strong> </em></p> <hr /> <p>We know cats like boxes, but you can also give them high vantage points to climb to. To do this, you can use a “cat tree”, although an accessible shelf or the top of a wardrobe would work well too. Cats also need access to quiet rooms and spaces to hide under so they can remove themselves from situations they find stressful. Be mindful though – if your cat spends most of its time hiding, your house may be less cat-friendly than you think. Uncontrolled stress in a cat’s life can lead to <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1748-5827.2004.tb00216.x.">illnesses such as idiopathic cystitis</a>.</p> <p><strong>Predatory behaviour</strong></p> <p>But what about their need to hunt? Allowing this behaviour is vital, and that includes them being able to look for food as well as finding and eating it. Searching for food usually involves short bursts of activity and long periods of waiting in cats, while the feeding part is also complex, as the cat decides how and where is best to eat.</p> <p>To recreate this, you can scatter food on the floor or hide it in <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1098612X16643753">puzzle feeders</a>. You can even vary where you feed your cat and encourage it to explore and manipulate objects. Getting a cat to move more and eat regular, smaller amounts of food can help reduce the risk of obesity.</p> <p>Play can also be used to mimic hunting without the need for food. It’s always best to keep bouts of play short, encouraging pouncing and chasing, and using toys which mimic the shape, texture and movement of live prey. You should always end on a positive note and while the cat is enjoying itself, so that future playtimes will be anticipated rather than endured.</p> <p><span class="attribution"><a href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/graywhite-tabby-cat-plays-feather-toy-676360354?src=055d4fd6-441f-4202-88dd-bb46a21b7535-1-3" class="source"></a></span><strong>Brushing up</strong></p> <p>Like humans, cats like to maintain themselves. Sharp claws are a must for effective climbing and defence, so make sure to provide scratching posts, especially if you want to protect your furniture. In the wild, cats use trees and other objects, not just to maintain their claws but also to leave marks for other cats to follow.</p> <p>Make sure your cat can comfortably go to the toilet. Use unscented litter that is changed regularly and put the toilet in a discreet place, away from their food and water. For cats, as for us, it’s not a public activity. If your cat is going to the toilet somewhere inappropriate, it may be that they’re unhappy with their toilet arrangements or they may need to be checked by a vet.</p> <p>Cats are as complex and each individual has unique needs. Before you decide whether to have an indoor cat, make sure that it’s a decision the cat would be likely to make too.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/126726/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: http://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/mark-farnworth-887019">Mark Farnworth</a>, Associate Professor of Animal Behaviour, <a href="http://theconversation.com/institutions/nottingham-trent-university-1338">Nottingham Trent University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lauren-finka-727070">Lauren Finka</a>, Postdoctoral Research Associate, <a href="http://theconversation.com/institutions/nottingham-trent-university-1338">Nottingham Trent University</a></em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="http://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/keeping-cats-indoors-how-to-ensure-your-pet-is-happy-according-to-science-126726">original article</a>.</em></p>

Lifestyle

Placeholder Content Image

Want to discover the secret to positive thinking?

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Experts say it isn’t so much what happens to us which matters but how we respond to it. Here’s how to stay positive!</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Did you know that negative beliefs are the number one block to maintaining thriving health and well-being? </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Negative beliefs are not supportive and can hold you back in so many ways. What helps is knowing a bit about how beliefs work and how to put into practice tools and techniques that will help dismantle your limiting beliefs in a constructive way.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">One method, which is probably one of the most widely used therapies in the world, is the rational emotive behavioural therapy (REBT) pioneered in the 1950s by psychologist Dr Albert Ellis. REBT is a practical approach to challenging beliefs using the power of our cognitive and writing skills.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Challenging your beliefs before you write will help you really tap into your inner creative resources. Negative beliefs left untapped have enormous potential to sabotage any attempts you may make in moving and progressing your writing in a productive and positive way.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Imagine your beliefs as a pair of glasses. When you wear one particular pair of glasses you see life and events from your life in a particular light. Through these lenses, no matter what is happening, you see what you view as good and positive. But through another set of glasses, the view can be far from rosy. In fact, everything is distorted with a particular meaning, which renders us powerless over our circumstances.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s the view of our events that can cause us harm rather than the event itself. Dr Ellis created the ABCDE model to show how our beliefs impact on our emotional responses and behaviours. </span></p> <p><strong>The ABCDE model</strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Grab your pen and notebook, and work through the steps of the ABCDE model:</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;"><strong> A stands for the Activation</strong> or event that was the original or key event where you first adopted this belief.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;"><strong> B stands for the Belief</strong> you have as a result of your interpretation of the event. What was your interpretation of the event and what belief did you come away with?</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;"><strong> C highlights the Consequences</strong> and impact this particular belief now has on your life, through your habits, thoughts about yourself and behaviours. A doesn’t cause C; it’s B that causes C, and this is where the work needs to be done.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;"><strong> D is where you examine the belief</strong> much more closely and identify even the smallest of evidence that Denies, Disputes or Disagrees with your belief. It challenges what you believe to be true.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;"><strong> E stands for the Effects</strong> and how you now feel as a result of changing or shifting your beliefs, as well as identifying how it feels to gain a different perspective of the old belief.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">A final question to complete the model would be to ask yourself: ‘What is available to me now that I no longer hold onto this belief?’.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s important to see your responses in writing rather than just mulling them over in your head. Dr Ellis believes that the real work lies in the recognition that we don’t need to cling to our irrational beliefs – but it takes practice, practice and practice. Changing your beliefs is a powerful catalyst in changing the outcome: recognising that shit happens but how we view the event is what makes the difference.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Everyone has his or her good points; and weak points lead us to embed and embody self-acceptance. REBT is an easy tool to reduce emotional pain.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It may not get rid of all of your negative beliefs, but it can significantly reduce the frequency with which you allow your irrational beliefs to drive your behaviour.</span></p> <p><strong>Ready to make a positive change? Start today!</strong></p> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Written by Jackee Holder. Republished with permission of </span><a href="https://www.wyza.com.au/articles/health/wellbeing/want-to-discover-the-secret-to-positive-thinking.aspx"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Wyza.com.au.</span></a></em></p>

Lifestyle

Placeholder Content Image

Prince William sends thank-you notes to fans who wished him a happy 37th birthday

<p>Prince William is never off the clock, even as he’s holidaying with Queen Elizabeth in Scotland’s Balmoral Castle.</p> <p>Royal fans will be pleased to know that Prince William is continuing to participate in a key royal tradition, which is responding to old-fashioned mail.</p> <p>Especially when the letter in question is a congratulatory letter.</p> <p>Despite Prince William celebrating his 37th birthday in June, he is just getting back to fans who have sent him well-wishes by mail.</p> <p><em><a rel="noopener" href="http://gertsroyalreplies.blogspot.com/2019/08/prince-william-birthday-reply-2019.html" target="_blank">Gert’s Royal Replies</a></em>, a royal blog, explained that they had received a reply from the Prince.</p> <p>Gert’s also pointed out that the photo card that was sent was used on Prince William’s 2017 and 2018 birthday replies.</p> <p>According to the site, “it is quite typical for Clarence House to reuse photos for multiple events, especially the adult's birthdays.”</p> <p>The message on the back of the card reads:</p> <p>“The Duke of Cambridge is most grateful to you for writing as you did on the occasion of his 37th birthday.</p> <p>“It really was most thoughtful of you and His Royal Highness sends you his warmest thanks and best wishes.”</p> <p>Prince William isn’t the only one to send out thank you cards to those who send them letters. The Duke and Duchess of Sussex as well as Princess Eugenie and other members of the British royal family send them out after special events.</p> <p>Scroll through the gallery to see some letters from the British royal family.</p>

Health

Placeholder Content Image

How a simple 10-minute exercise can boost your happiness

<p><span>Stresses and pressures can often be inevitable in our daily lives. There is no shortage of strategies to ease a sour mood and get yourself out of a rut – <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/health/mind/easy-tricks-to-improve-a-bad-mood/">spending time outdoors</a>, <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/entertainment/music/this-hospital-uses-piano-music-to-boost-the-mood-and-mental-health-of-patients/">listening to music</a> and <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/health/mind/the-simple-trick-to-boost-your-mood-in-minutes">performing acts of kindness for others</a> are just some of them.</span></p> <p><span>But if you’re looking for a more reflective and personal exercise, this technique might just help.</span></p> <p><span>Sandi Mann, psychology lecturer at the University of Central Lancashire wrote on her book <em>Ten Minutes to Happiness </em>that writing a daily journal could help us re-orient our memory and shift our mindset to better cope with difficult situations.</span></p> <p><span>In her book, Mann outlined the six questions to use in your daily journal:</span></p> <ol> <li><span> What experiences, however mundane, gave you pleasure?</span></li> <li><span> What praise and feedback did you receive?</span></li> <li><span> What were the moments of pure good fortune?</span></li> <li><span> What were your achievements, however small?</span></li> <li><span> What made you feel grateful?</span></li> <li><span> How did you express kindness?</span></li> </ol> <p><span>One of the prominent themes from these questions is gratitude, which plays an important part in lifting our mood. Writing about things we are grateful for <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/10503307.2016.1169332">has been found to improve mental health</a> as it turns our attention away from negative emotions.</span></p> <p><span>Mann said the benefits of this 10-minute review are not just limited to the writing time. Re-reading previous entries can also help us override our selective memories, which tend to be fixated on sources of unhappiness. </span></p> <p>While this method could help those who are having <a href="http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20181016-how-to-boost-your-mood-with-one-10-minute-exercise">low mood or stress without clinical symptoms</a>, Mann said people who may suffer from depression should consult with a GP for further treatment.</p>

Health

Placeholder Content Image

The 3 important factors for happiness

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The </span><a href="https://worldhappiness.report/ed/2019/#read"><span style="font-weight: 400;">2019</span> <span style="font-weight: 400;">World Happiness Report (WHR)</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> is out and the results are in: There are three important factors that help you find happiness.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">These factors are relationships, money and health.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Dr Michael Mosley has learned to obtain these the hard way. He shared his thoughts with the </span><a href="https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/health-and-wellness/money-does-make-you-happy-but-only-to-a-point-20190624-p520q5.html"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Sydney Morning Herald</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Lots of factors make you happy,” Mosley told the 1300 audience members at the </span><span style="font-weight: 400;">Happiness and Its Causes</span><span style="font-weight: 400;"> conference. "But the three most important things... are relationships, money and health.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">According to the WHR, money matters for happiness, but only to a specific point.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“How much do you think you need to be relatively happy? The minimum? Turns out to be $50,000. The maximum, the point at which you get satiated where actually having more money won’t make you more happy? That turns out to be $90,000... beyond that point you don’t get a lot happier,” Mosley explained. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Another measure of happiness is when you feel you’ve 'made it'. That turns out to be much higher... about $140,000... to have bragging rights.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As he made his way through his life, Mosley discovered that money alone didn’t make him happy. He quickly met his wife at medical school and realised she filled a void in his life.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“She filled an enormous emotional void in my life,” he said. Needing close and emotionally fulfilling relationships was something he didn’t realise he needed until he met her.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“That was something I didn’t know until I met Clare.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The WHR has quantified the impact that relationships have on people that asked a simple question of 1.4 million people in 150 different countries.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“If you were in trouble, do you have relatives or friends that can help you, whether you need them or not?”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“This is the greatest single predictor of whether or not someone reports they are happy or not,” Mosley said.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">He finished the talk by giving his guide to a healthy life.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“My guide to a happy life? Prioritise your relationships, eat a Mediterranean-style diet, fast sometimes – it’s surprisingly enjoyable, keep a waist less than half your height... try and do something that gets your heart rate up three times a week, meditate most mornings... and be grateful for people that make you happy.”</span></p>

Finance

Placeholder Content Image

Cashing out for happiness: Why you should outsource "negative" household chores

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">According to a Harvard professor, outsourcing “negative” experiences, such as laundry or mowing the lawn can result in more happiness.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Ashley Whillans, who researches time-money trade-offs says that more people would be happier if they spent more of their money to “buy themselves out of negative experiences”.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">She spoke to the </span><a href="https://hbr.org/ideacast/2019/01/use-your-money-to-buy-happier-time"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Harvard Business Review’s IdeaCast podcast</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> and explained the idea in more detail.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“We really like to flip Benjamin Franklin’s adage on its head and say, ‘Well, if time is money, maybe also we can think that money can buy a happier time’,” she said.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Any way that we spend money in a way that might save us time — such as also buying ourselves into positive experiences — has reliable and positive effects on the happiness that we get from our days, our weeks, our months and our lives.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">However, Whillans has said that we need “retraining” in order to be comfortable with strangers helping them out.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I find in my studies that people feel really guilty about outsourcing even though they’re giving up money to have more time that they’ve earned … People feel guilty about burdening other people with their tasks.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Whilst it might be tempting to outsource every chore you dislike, it can end up with negative consequences. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Whillans noticed that people who outsource too much “experienced the lowest levels of happiness, in part probably because … they feel like their life must be so out of control if they can’t even do one load of laundry on the weekend”.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">People on the lowest incomes also benefit more from time saving purchases.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Whillans explained:</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“What we think is going on there is that people who are materially constrained also tend to be time-poor,” she said.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“They might be working multiple jobs, they might be a single parent. They might have to commute really far away because the only place that they could live is somewhere that’s quite far away from where they work.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Do you outsource your chores? Let us know in the comments.</span></p>

Finance

Placeholder Content Image

How to stay happy and healthy over 65

<p><span>There's no magic formula to ensure that you'll stay happy and healthy, but you have a lot of control over how you feel during your senior years. One key is to keep learning about new things. You'll have more satisfaction in life if you also take good care of yourself physically and emotionally. Make room for the things that are important to you and let things go if they're not giving you joy. Stay open to new experiences and keep your friends and loved ones close. Here are some tips to help you enjoy life more after age 65.</span></p> <p><strong><span>1. Never stop learning</span></strong></p> <p><span>Does this sound familiar? It's certainly an old adage when it comes to staying youthful in your senior years. Learning doesn't just mean taking classes, although there are plenty of <a href="https://ala.asn.au/lifelong-learning-communities/">opportunities for seniors to learn</a> in a classroom setting. Age is no barrier when it comes to gaining knowledge about things that interest you. Have you ever thought about doing something new like taking sailing lessons or creating pottery? There's no reason not to, and every reason to go for it.</span></p> <p><span>Staying active in mind and body will help keep your life interesting and fulfilling. Simple pleasures like reading, doing crossword puzzles and playing board games will challenge your wits, and outdoor activities are a great way to meet others and learn new skills. People who lead busy, active lives tend to have a happier outlook on life.</span></p> <p><strong><span>2. Practice self-care</span></strong></p> <p><span>Self-care is more than just a trendy buzzword for the younger generation. It's basically the same thing as self-regard or self-love. Many of us are so focused on caring for our spouses, family and friends that we forget to give ourselves the same consideration. Remember to plan something just for your own enjoyment once or twice a week, if not more. Take a long soak in the tub with scented bath salts, work on your latest project, or treat yourself to a movie at the local theatre.</span></p> <p><span>Self-care can also be as simple as taking a nap or curling up with your current favourite novel and a cup of tea. In addition to <a href="https://www.lifeinmindaustralia.com.au/for-the-sector/self-care">reducing stress and adding relaxation</a> to your life, doing things for yourself allows you to be more attentive to loved ones. Think of your emotional health as a bucket of water: if you don't add to the volume by taking care of yourself, there won't be anything left to give to others.</span></p> <p><strong><span>3. Look out for your health</span></strong></p> <p><span>Give plenty of attention to eating healthy and getting enough exercise. Making healthy food choices doesn't mean subsisting on bran and carrot sticks. You can prepare meals and snacks that are not only healthy but also tasty and satisfying. A sedentary lifestyle is detrimental to your health, and it can lead to incremental weight gain that sneaks up on you. Simply walking a few blocks each day will get your circulation going and make you feel more energetic. Dancing and bicycling are a couple of other fun activities that will get your heart pumping and strengthen your muscles.</span></p> <p><span>Be sure to make appointments for regular health checkups and follow advice from your doctor. Take advantage of the resources you have for maintaining good health. Continue to invest in private health insurance to give yourself options if you do fall ill or need surgery. Choosing your doctor and opting for a private hospital stay when it's needed are two of the most valuable benefits of private health care. You can use <a href="https://membersown.com.au/">Members Own</a> to compare terms and find the healthcare plan that's right for you.</span></p> <p><strong><span>4. Downsize your life</span></strong></p> <p><span>Downsizing is a catch-all word that can apply to a lot of things. For many of us, the senior years are a time to consider trading a large home for a smaller one with less maintenance. Regardless of the size of your home though, you can probably benefit from going through all your belongings and getting rid of the things you don't use. Decluttering your living space not only makes your surroundings more pleasant, but it gives you fewer things to dust and clean.</span></p> <p><span>If you enjoy travelling, you may even want to downsize to a small apartment and invest in a travel camper. This is an option for many seniors who decide to use their resources to visit friends and family while seeing as much of the country as they can. It's especially a boon when grown children and grandkids live far away. Retirement is the time to focus on getting the most you can out of life, not take care of excess possessions or a labour-intensive home.</span></p> <p><strong><span>5. Try new things</span></strong></p> <p><span>This is a lot like the prescription to keep learning because it encourages you to stay open to experiences that can enrich your life. There's always something new to explore, even right in your own town. Universities host lectures that are open to the public on a wide variety of subjects from astronomy to zoology, and they often invite authors to speak on campus. It can be fun and enlightening to visit the places in your town that draw tourists. You may have gotten so accustomed to nearby interesting sights and experiences that you've forgotten they're right under your nose.</span></p> <p><strong><span>6. Strengthen relationships</span></strong></p> <p><span>People can feel lonely as they get older. Friends move away and sometimes we lose them to illness or death. Don't let yourself become isolated. Having friends makes a major difference in the quality of life, and you're never too old to make new ones. You can find friends at shared activities, volunteer opportunities and any place where you spend a lot of time. Arrange quality experiences with your family, too. Don't wait for them to visit but suggest activities you both would enjoy doing together.</span></p> <p><span>Once you believe you've seen it all, life can seem pretty boring. Try to cultivate a child's sense of adventure and wonder at what the world has to offer, and you'll never run out of things to explore. In many ways, <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/lifespan-perspectives/201810/feeling-old-what-do-you-mean">age is a state of mind</a>. As long as you're open to new experiences and relationships, you'll give proof to another old adage, "You're as young as you feel."</span></p>

Health

Placeholder Content Image

Can money buy happiness?

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Some of us would go to great lengths to save money, even if it means spending more time and dealing with more inconveniences on the way – be it lining up for coveted bargains or looking for secret tricks to score lower prices. But Ashley Whillans, professor at Harvard Business School believes that another approach is better in bringing us happiness.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In the </span><em><a href="https://hbr.org/ideacast/2019/01/use-your-money-to-buy-happier-time"><span style="font-weight: 400;">HBR IdeaCast</span></a> </em><span style="font-weight: 400;">podcast, Whillans said that people will gain the most happiness when they use their money to buy time. She believed we should spend our hard-earned cash not only on the things we like, but also to get out of “negative experiences” like doing the dishes or commuting. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">This means paying for goods and services that will reduce the time spent on stressful activities – for example, buying a pricier house that is close to anywhere to avoid getting stuck in traffic.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Many people might not be comfortable with the idea of paying someone to perform seemingly basic chores like cooking, shopping or driving. However, Whillans argued that we could shift our perspective on time and money. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I find in my studies that people feel really guilty about outsourcing even though they’re giving up money to have more time that they’ve earned,” she said.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But one of her studies found that enlisting the help of “time-saving services” can help reduce stress and improve happiness.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Just the simple act of thinking about giving up money to have more free time seems to make people plan their time a little bit better. If I’m going to incur this cost to have this free time, then I’m going to make sure I really enjoy the free time that I have.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But this doesn’t mean overhauling your budget and outsourcing every task. Whillans recommended starting small and staying away from drastic changes. “Just sitting down and thinking about whether there’s anything you can outsource that you really don’t like, that stresses you out a lot, that you can afford,” Whillans said.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Would you spend more money to get quality free time? Share your thoughts in the comments.</span></p>

Finance

Placeholder Content Image

World’s happiest countries for 2019 revealed

<p>The World Happiness Report has just been released and the results are a little surprising.</p> <p>Finland has been crowned the happiest country in the world for a second year in a row, with another four Nordic countries following in tow and grabbing a spot in the top 10.</p> <p>The report released by United Nations Sustainable Development Solutions Network, ranked 156 countries by their happiness levels based on life expectancy, social support and corruption.</p> <p>The well-being of immigrants taken in by each country was also measured and added to the list.</p> <p>Britain trailed behind the likes of Israel, Austria, Costa Rica, Australia, Luxemborg and New Zealand.</p> <p>Australia ranked 11th, just missing a spot in the top 10.</p> <p>The North African nation of South Sudan placed at the bottom of the happiness index, and America is proving to be less and less happy each year as the country falls from 14th place to 19th in just two years.</p> <p>Russia ranked 68th, falling from 59th since last year while France took 24th place and China 93rd.</p> <p>The least happy countries ranking in order include South Sudan, Central African Republic, Afghanistan, Tanzania, Rwanda, Yemen, Malawi, Syria, Botswana, Haiti and Zimbabwe.</p> <p>Four different Nordic countries ranked in the highest ten places on the list.</p> <p>Meik Wiking, the CEO of the Copenhagen-based Happiness Research Institute said the five Nordic countries who were ranked high in the index were clearly “doing something right in terms of creating good conditions for good lives.”</p> <p>“'Briefly put, (Nordic countries) are good at converting wealth into well-being,” Wiking said.</p> <p>The finding on the happiness of immigrants “shows the conditions that we live under matter greatly to our quality of life, that happiness is not only a matter of choice.”</p> <p>Scroll through the gallery above to see the top ten happiest countries in the world.</p>

Travel

Placeholder Content Image

Why I quit my day job and started cycling to Bhutan

<p>I’d had enough. It was October 2017, and I’d been wondering what the point of my job was for far too long, and while I’m sure there was something meaningful somewhere and to someone in what I was doing day-to-day, it had certainly lost meaning for me. For all the good that writing another academic research paper would do, I thought I might as well be cycling to Bhutan.</p> <p>The idea of cycling to this small country nestled in the Himalayan foothills is one I’d had for many years. Bhutan is famous for deciding to value its population’s happiness and well-being <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2012/dec/01/bhutan-wealth-happiness-counts">over economic growth</a>. As an academic researcher focused on understanding happiness and well-being, the journey looked to me to be something of a pilgrimage.</p> <p>Before I quit, I’d spent more than ten years at different universities, trying to understand what the most important contributors were to well-being. But what I found was that I was burnt out. Given the nature of my research, the irony of this was not lost on me. I needed to do something different. I wanted to travel; to explore and understand happiness through a non-academic lens. But I wanted to connect the research I’d been doing over the years with what was happening, or indeed not happening, in the world.</p> <p><strong>Purpose and meaning</strong></p> <p>When I began my research, I was motivated by the importance of the subject. Most people I knew wanted to be happy and so, I thought, my research might help people to do that. I did what academics are incentivised to do: publish in the best peer-reviewed journals (indexed by academic readership and citation counts), as well as bring in research funds. I also did things such as engage with people outside of academia that might not ordinarily read my research – <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/christopher-boyce-122326/articles">the public</a>, <a href="https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/life-satisfaction-linked-to-personality-change/">the media</a>, <a href="http://economicspsychologypolicy.blogspot.com/2015/09/future-directions-for-well-being-policy.html">governments, policymakers</a> – things I wasn’t always incentivised to do, but nevertheless did because they contributed to a personal sense of purpose and meaning.</p> <p>When it comes to living happy and fulfilled lives, we humans need meaning, we need purpose. People who feel there is a deeper purpose and meaning in what they are doing in their day-to-day lives tend to be happier, healthier, and more satisfied. Research shows, for example, that a life orientated towards meaning brings greater satisfaction <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10902-004-1278-z">than a life oriented toward hedonic pleasure</a>. Those that have a strong sense of purpose in life <a href="https://journals.lww.com/psychosomaticmedicine/Abstract/2016/02000/Purpose_in_Life_and_Its_Relationship_to_All_Cause.2.aspx">live longer</a>, and having a strong sense of purpose may be just as good for your health as engaging in regular exercise. Some would even conceive that purpose is, by definition, a key aspect <a href="http://psycnet.apa.org/fulltext/1990-12288-001.html">of happiness itself</a>.</p> <p>Work is an important source of purpose and meaning for many people. When people get made redundant or become unemployed, much of the loss in well-being they experience is often due to the <a href="http://psycnet.apa.org/record/2004-22497-005">loss of purpose and meaning</a>, rather than the loss of income. Even if there is no deeper personal purpose and meaning in the actual work itself then there is much to value in our daily social interactions and the structure that work provides us, although they are easily overlooked.</p> <p>It is purpose and meaning that helps people get up each day and it doesn’t necessarily have to be specifically about work. Purpose and meaning can take many different forms and is deeply personal. It might be looking after family, following a hobby, passion, or faith. Purpose and meaning is also an important source of resilience, helping people get through the difficulty and challenges that are an inevitable part of life.</p> <p>The importance of purpose and meaning is well recognised. In the UK, for example, one of the four questions that the government’s Office for National Statistics asks in its <a href="https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/wellbeing/datasets/headlineestimatesofpersonalwellbeing">Well-Being Survey</a> is: “Overall, to what extent do you feel the things you do in your life are worthwhile?” To which people are asked to respond on a scale from zero “not at all” to ten, “completely”. In the UK the mean score to this question is <a href="https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/wellbeing/datasets/headlineestimatesofpersonalwellbeing">about 7.8</a>, suggesting people feel their lives are relatively worthwhile. However, there is variation around this mean. Around 15% of the population answer a score of six or less on this question and this level has been relatively stable.</p> <p><strong>Walking the talk, being authentic</strong></p> <p>It has always felt important to me to apply my research findings to my own life. My research consistently showed that once basic needs are met, having more money is <a href="https://theconversation.com/however-you-spend-it-money-isnt-the-key-to-happiness-25289">only weakly related to happiness and well-being</a>, relative to other things such as relationships, health (mental and physical), and our personality characteristics. Taking this on board, I have decided not to take better paying jobs or strive for promotion (one of my first ever published papers demonstrated that promotion <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/hec.1734">can have detrimental effects on one’s mental health</a>) for the sake of it. Instead, I tried to create a life where I had more space to focus on those aspects of life I knew to be the most important for well-being.</p> <p>Another important <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/dont-be-swayed/200808/does-authenticity-lead-happiness">contributor to our well-being</a> is something psychologists term authenticity. Authenticity reflects our tendency to live in line with our beliefs and values rather the demands of others, of society. So in following what I believed to be true from the research I and others were doing I was doubly rewarded; I was happier.</p> <p>Nonetheless, the longer I spent in academia the more I began to question the wider relevance of my research. I began to realise that a lot of debates around happiness <a href="https://adventuresinhappinessblog.wordpress.com/2017/03/20/does-money-buy-happiness-a-frustrating-and-tiresome-debate/">could sometimes be shockingly misleading</a> such as the extent that money can buy happiness – which too often <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/eprint/bUqnhcQjq9tPPjeK5RJI/full">gets overstated</a>. Gazing out beyond the academic world, I saw a society that seems to act, whether consciously or not, as if the most important thing <a href="https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/opinion-scharmer-gdp-economic-growth_us_5ac6160de4b056a8f598db31">is to keep the economy perpetually growing</a>, regardless of the ill effects that endless consumption has on the planet and <a href="http://psycnet.apa.org/fulltext/2014-44347-005.html">people’s mental health</a>.</p> <p>I felt despondent. What was the point in writing another academic paper? Perhaps, I thought, I ought to be doing something a bit different. Not only to rediscover meaning and purpose, but to continue striving for an authentic existence and, through that, perhaps a little more happiness too. It was then that I finally decided that it was time to leave my full-time job at the university and to start my cycling odyssey to Bhutan.</p> <p><strong>A kingdom of happiness</strong></p> <p>We might not hear about them very often, but there are actually many places in the world where economic growth is not so overtly favoured above other things. It might be just a few people who have decided to live together and put their well-being above economic gain; there are small <a href="https://transitionnetwork.org/">communities, towns</a> and <a href="http://www.happycity.org.uk/">cities</a> already doing this. But in the case of an entire country – Bhutan – the stated central aim of government is to increase happiness and well-being.</p> <p>In 1972, the fourth king of Bhutan, King Jigme Singye Wangchuck, first expressed the idea in an interview. <a href="https://ophi.org.uk/policy/national-policy/gross-national-happiness-index/">He said</a>: “Gross National Happiness is more important than Gross Domestic Product.” Initially, Gross National Happiness was a concept rooted in the country’s spiritual traditions, and government policies would be evaluated based on their supposed influence on well-being rather than its economic effect.</p> <p>Back in 1972, however, there was little in the way of reliable metrics to compute the influence of a policy on well-being. So the idea of increasing happiness remained more of a philosophical concept. Nevertheless, the happiness concept became embedded in the policy-making process. Some of the decisions that arose from this approach included a <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/theguardian/2003/jun/14/weekend7.weekend2">ban on television</a> (up until 1999), <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/tmullen/2018/02/27/why-bhutan-is-still-out-of-this-world/#3d84b40b44be">making tobacco illegal, and restricting tourism</a> to preserve the country’s culture.</p> <p>The Bhutanese have since developed a <a href="http://www.grossnationalhappiness.com/">Gross National Happiness Index</a> to measure the country’s collective level of well-being – this has been the government’s goal since its constitution was enacted in 2008. The index has direct links to policy making and it is meant to provide incentives for the government, non-governmental organisations, and businesses to operate in ways that increase the happiness index. For example, environmental protection is enshrined in its constitution, which puts a limit on profitable industries such as logging.</p> <p>Yet Bhutan is by <a href="https://www.npr.org/sections/parallels/2018/02/12/584481047/the-birthplace-of-gross-national-happiness-is-growing-a-bit-cynical">no means the happiest place on Earth</a>, despite its focus on happiness. Finland topped the <a href="http://worldhappiness.report/ed/2018/">UN’s 2018 World Happiness Report</a> and Bhutan came in at 97 out of 156 countries. A number of factors are at play here, but Bhutan has been criticised for having a top-down focus on what constitutes happiness. It also suffers from considerable poverty, <a href="https://www.hhrjournal.org/2016/04/the-paradox-of-happiness-health-and-human-rights-in-the-kingdom-of-bhutan/">human rights abuses</a> and many other issues that numerous countries face.</p> <p>Nevertheless, the case of Bhutan continues to inspire conversations as to what should be the purpose of society and how countries can measure success. Bhutan also illustrates what might just be possible if there were the political will.</p> <p><strong>The journey, not the destination</strong></p> <p>Against this backdrop, I set off from the UK in October 2017 with the <a href="https://adventuresinhappinessblog.wordpress.com/2018/03/05/all-that-i-need-to-make-a-happy-bike-tour/">barest of essentials</a> packed onto a bicycle and my route, you might say, <a href="https://thehappyboyce.travelmap.net/">has been circuitous</a>. As I write I am in Canada, and it was important for me to travel across South and North America, as I wanted to pass through other places that, much like Bhutan, are exploring new ways of living and where the economy does not necessarily dominate political and social life.</p> <p>In Costa Rica, for example, there’s a real emphasis on “pura vida” or the pure life. Citizens live <a href="http://happyplanetindex.org/countries/costa-rica">long and happy lives</a> (comparable to that of financially rich countries) on levels of income that are much lower. I met many a living example of what I’d seen in the research – happiness that comes from <a href="https://adventuresinhappinessblog.wordpress.com/2018/08/05/latin-america-what-is-it-that-makes-you-so-happy/">relationships</a>, <a href="https://adventuresinhappinessblog.wordpress.com/2018/05/29/blue-zone-happy-zone/">good health</a>, and <a href="https://adventuresinhappinessblog.wordpress.com/2018/05/19/this-could-be-heaven-right-here-on-earth/">being in connection with ourselves and nature</a>. Once basic needs are met, money <a href="https://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/personalfinance/10385135/Why-a-richer-society-isnt-making-us-happy.html">adds little to well-being</a> and I met many people with not very much; but enough to be able to help me as I passed through their village or town on my bicycle.</p> <p>I also wanted to visit Canada, which has an exemplary <a href="https://uwaterloo.ca/canadian-index-wellbeing/">national index of well-being</a> that was developed in conjunction with citizens. It was developed as a bottom-up process with clear and direct links to policy. From a research perspective we know that <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0146167200266002">autonomy and having a voice</a> is important for well-being and I have learnt from <a href="https://adventuresinhappinessblog.wordpress.com/2018/06/07/may-all-voices-be-heard-may-all-gifts-be-given/">personal experience</a> how important it is to feel heard.</p> <p>And, of course, there were many places in between that I wanted to visit that felt important to help me understand happiness more deeply: <a href="https://adventuresinhappinessblog.wordpress.com/2018/10/24/love-is-why-we-are-here/">communities intent on happiness</a>, <a href="https://adventuresinhappinessblog.wordpress.com/2018/09/01/in-awe/">natural wonders of the world</a>, and various <a href="https://adventuresinhappinessblog.wordpress.com/2018/09/18/vegas-and-the-desperate-hunt-for-an-improbable-happiness/">cities</a> with something to contribute.</p> <p>I’ve flown some of the way (across oceans) but cycled most of it in a bid to make the journey authentic and purposeful. Not only did I think cycling would be good for my own well-being (physical and mental) but because it is a form of travel that has minimal ecological impact and therefore would not harm the well-being of those around me. Plus, my experiences travelling on a bicycle before I began this journey showed me that it is a fantastic way to meet people. It is a fairly unusual form of travel in some parts of the world and it draws interest and builds connections.</p> <p>People can often make a place. I knew that the people I met would form an important part of my trip and I wanted to create long lasting connections, which are of course an important component of a happy life. These connections have come through sharing experiences of what it means to be happy – sharing my own research and personal experiences of happiness and also being willing to hear about the experiences of others, from the people I have met in the street and the plazas to the people making policy decisions.</p> <p>There are many people who are interested in implementing programmes and happiness policies into their own lives and the lives of others as a means to genuinely promote happiness and well-being in the area where they live.</p> <p>When I spoke with people involved in policy decisions in Costa Rica, for example, we discussed the country’s involvement in the <a href="https://wellbeingeconomy.org/">Wellbeing Economy Alliance</a>. This is an organisation that resembles the G7 group of countries, but rather than a focus on the size of the economy, these countries – including Costa Rica, Scotland, New Zealand and Slovenia, among others – aim to promote well-being.</p> <p><strong>Overcoming challenges</strong></p> <p>My journey has been undeniably amazing on a personal level. Each day can bring something different, unexpected, challenging, and that demands a lot psychologically. Suddenly I might find myself in the home of a person I met in a plaza sharing food with their family. The next day I could find myself sitting in my tent alone but in the company of a beautiful night sky. There have been some truly special moments and, through these, I have often felt happy and learnt many interesting things about myself. For example, that I am <a href="https://adventuresinhappinessblog.wordpress.com/2018/05/26/i-wont-be-coming-back/">much more than just an academic</a>, and that sometimes what we perceive ourselves to be can limit what we can be.</p> <p>Yet it has not been easy, and has definitely not been a holiday. My journey has involved a substantial amount of physical effort and at times deep challenge. About two months into my trip I got bitten by a street dog in a tiny village in Peru. The need to deal with the physical effects aside (treating the wound, getting to a hospital, getting vaccinations), the experience <a href="https://adventuresinhappinessblog.wordpress.com/2018/01/23/anger-the-anguish-that-lies-beneath/">really</a> <a href="https://adventuresinhappinessblog.wordpress.com/2018/01/23/anger-the-anguish-that-lies-beneath/">affected</a> me <a href="https://adventuresinhappinessblog.wordpress.com/2018/02/13/resentment-hostility-and-hatred-arisei-watch-i-accept-the-emotions-are-passingand-a-powerful-insight-lands/">psychologically</a>.</p> <p>I wanted to come home. I was struggling to find the emotional strength I needed to get through. I felt alone. But I persevered and I put my ability to do so down to eventually finding the support I needed (both locally and from back home), as well as having that clear sense of purpose.</p> <p>I’m glad I persevered with the journey as all the other experiences I’ve since that incident and the people I have met have been enormously enriching and given me a greater feeling of wholeness. Plus, an important part of happiness is dealing with adversity and building resilience for when difficult things happen, as they inevitably do.</p> <p>Now, I’m in Canada and, in truth, I’m surprised I’ve made it this far. I often wonder whether I’ll ever actually make it to Bhutan; there are many more mountains to climb and seas to cross. Lately, I’ve been having a difficult time on the road – <a href="https://adventuresinhappinessblog.wordpress.com/2018/10/26/a-year-on/">it’s been a year</a> and I deeply miss the surroundings of home, friends and family.</p> <p>Maybe I don’t actually need to go all the way to Bhutan. Maybe what I’ve done is enough. Either way, I can rest assured that happiness is found in the journey – not the destination.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/105531/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: http://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em>Written by <span>Christopher Boyce, Honorary Research Associate at the Behavioural Science Centre, University of Stirling</span>. Republished with permission of </em><a href="https://theconversation.com/why-i-quit-my-day-job-researching-happiness-and-started-cycling-to-bhutan-105531"><em>The Conversation</em></a><em>.</em></p>

Travel