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‘Shy’ albatrosses more likely to get divorced

<p dir="ltr">Many of us dream of finding the love of our life who we will be with forever, and we’re not the only species to couple with another for life.</p> <p dir="ltr">But, we also part ways if the relationship doesn’t work out, and it seems that albatrosses do too.</p> <p dir="ltr">Researchers who have been observing the behaviour of wandering albatrosses, which spend most of their time around the Southern Ocean, found that a bird’s personality predicted their likelihood of ‘divorce’.</p> <p dir="ltr">Since 1959, wandering albatrosses on Possession Island in the Crozet archipelago have been monitored by scientists, who have been tagging chicks with unique numbers and identifying which birds form couples.</p> <p dir="ltr">The boldness of birds that are nesting has also been measured since 2008, based on how they respond to a human approaching the nest.</p> <p dir="ltr">The team found that ‘shyer’ male birds had higher rates of ‘divorce’ than other, bolder males.</p> <p dir="ltr">But, this effect wasn’t seen in females, with the scientists suggesting that the divorce rate among male birds may be due to shyer males not engaging in aggressive behaviour when other males interrupt their courtship.</p> <p dir="ltr">To explain why the same divorce rate was seen among female birds, the team also theorised that females have more opportunities to mate than males.</p> <p dir="ltr">With the wandering albatross considered a vulnerable species, determining what causes divorce could prove to be useful for evaluating how successful breeding will be in given populations.</p> <p dir="ltr">“In our study population, breeding success does not differ between shyer and bolder males in their early adulthood, but bolder males are known to have higher reproductive success in their late adulthood,” they write.</p> <p dir="ltr">“From an evolutionary point of view, understanding the selective pressures acting on personality is of great interest, especially if different personality types lead to divergent demographic consequences.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Their findings were published in the journal <em><a href="https://doi.org/10.1098/rsbl.2022.0301" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Royal Society Biology Letters</a></em>.</p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-5faba721-7fff-9572-b111-ae61776526a1"></span></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: Supplied</em></p>

Lifestyle

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How to survive the holidays after divorce

<p>For many of us who are going through or recovering from divorce, the holidays can feel dark, lonely and stressful. But moving on with our lives does not mean that we cannot enjoy the holidays. In fact, we can even make them better than ever before when we remember the following tips.<br /><br /><strong>Your memory may play tricks on you, so be careful!</strong><br />We’re all guilty of remembering our past "married" Christmases as perfect. It’s easy to fall into this trap when we are divorced. But what we forget are all the things that weren’t great during the holidays when we were married. When we shut those not-perfect memories of family holidays out, we are subconsciously setting ourselves up for failure. We are holding our current holiday mood up to an impossible ideal of selective memories that may not be correct. We do this when we are feeling down, trying to imagine a happier time.</p> <p>This way of thinking does not serve you because you are holding yourself to an ideal that is impossible to attain. Making yourself feel guilty or resentful or longing for the past will not serve you this holiday season. The only way to start loving the holidays again is to reclaim for yourself… now.<br /><br /><strong>Stay hopeful, but be realistic</strong><br />For years, we have been inundated with other people, the media and the internet telling us how Christmas “should” be. These unrealistic expectations of perfect holidays and families getting along have conditioned us to feel as if we are not up to those standards. We feel that we are wrong, and that we’re not celebrating the holidays “the right way”.</p> <p>You have worked too hard over the decades and deserve more than to get sucked into the idea that you’re doing Christmas wrong. This year, it is time to envision what the best holiday season means for you, regardless of where you are in your life.</p> <p>A change in family circumstance does not mean you are sentenced to feel bad. It just means that you are now given an opportunity to decide how you want the holidays to be, regardless of what anyone else thinks.<br /><br /><strong>How to love the holidays again</strong><br />The first steps to learning to love the holidays again begin here. Celebrate you and your new life, by answering the following questions. Ask yourself:</p> <ul> <li>What do you really want to do?</li> <li>What will give you joy this holiday season?</li> <li>What steps will you take to get there?</li> </ul> <p>That is all you must ask yourself. These answers do not have to be complicated. You are not required to spend a lot of money on them.</p> <p><strong>Reclaiming your holidays</strong><br />Shaking off your loneliness and reclaiming the holidays for yourself as a divorced woman or man over 50 is all about taking care of yourself for a change. This is the year that you can say “no” to the things from holidays past that you have not enjoyed and that bring you stress, such as travelling, seeing toxic family members, spending too much money.<br /><br />This is also the year where you can pick the traditions that you love and throw out the rest. This is the year that you can define what a joyous season means to you and choose to celebrate how you want to celebrate.<br /><br />And learning to love Christmas again, even if you are divorced and over 50, starts with kicking those unrealistic expectations to the kerb and ignoring the selective memory that plays tricks on you.<br /><br />These next few weeks can be the season that you finally recognise that you deserve holiday joy and happiness and you have the power to define that on your own terms. Will you accept that gift.</p> <p><em>Written by Martha Bodyfelt. Republished with permission of <a href="https://www.wyza.com.au/articles/lifestyle/wyza-life/how-to-survive-the-holidays-after-divorce.aspx">Wyza.com.au.</a></em></p>

Travel

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Living fabulously after separation or divorce

<p>Living fabulously after separation/divorce requires us to take time to not only grieve the ending of the relationship but also the breakdown of many of the other important life structures. For example; we may need to re-establish parenting arrangements, restructure our financial responsibilities, work obligations, move house, develop new friendships and establish new boundaries in our personal and work relationships.<span> </span><br /><br />Most people don’t get married thinking that they will one day be attending to a separation/divorce. Even if you were the one who instigated the divorce, the split still represents a loss that carries long-term life changing implications in many areas of your life. The time needed to grieve and re-establish balance again will vary for each person and it is important not to move quickly through the grieving phase or we may miss the opportunity to build a strong foundation for establishing our new identity and a new life that has both meaning and purpose.<span> </span><br /><br />The first step to living fabulously after separation/divorce requires you to form a new identity as a single person. This can be a harrowing task as it first requires us to breakdown our old partnership attachment identity and then to define new values, beliefs and thinking patterns aligned to your new goals as a single person.<span> </span><br /><br />Living fabulously after separation/divorce is not about becoming a better person but about becoming brand new; reinventing yourself from the inside out. This requires you to begin to make conscious choices about remaking yourself in a different form. It means intentionally doing things differently. This stage of life presents a wonderful opportunity to create a new future for yourself and a life that will allow you to express who you really are. Important considerations to assist you with this include pondering the following; How did I get to this place? What do I now want my life to look and feel like as a newly single person? What steps are now required of me to begin moving in my new direction?</p> <p><strong>Steps to Living Fabulously include:</strong></p> <p>1. Allow time to grieve the past. Find ways to work through the lingering emotions from the demise of your partnership. This is essential if you are to successfully wrap up the past, make peace with it and move on to create a brand new you. There is now an empty space in your life and you want to ensure you fill it with people and activities that will be aligned to your new single status. You may want to engage a suitable therapist and/or coach to assist you.</p> <p>2. Learn to LOVE YOU! It’s now ME TIME. Regardless of your other responsibilities ensure you set aside time to begin to envision the life you would like to attract for yourself. Think about what your new future self looks and feels like. Where will you be living? What will you be wearing? What changes would you like to see occur in the future? This is a great time to engage in a fitness program, engage a stylist, change your look!</p> <p>3. Change your vibe by experimenting with a new attitude. How do you want the world to see you? Make time to go through your cupboards and decide what needs to go. Make your motto; “Ta, ta to the old, and hello to the new!” </p> <p>Be authentic, find your passion and your inner calling. You now have a blank canvas in front of you and the power to choose the colours and landscape of your new fabulous life.<span> </span><br />Remember happiness is contagious; live fabulously and become someone people want to catch! </p> <p><span>To find out more about Marina’s services and products and dating and relationship tips visit: </span><a rel="noopener" href="http://www.modernlovesolutions.com/" target="_blank">modernlovesolutions.com</a></p> <p><em>Written by <span>Marina Bakker. Republished with permission of <a href="https://www.wyza.com.au/articles/lifestyle/relationships/living-fabulously-after-separation-or-divorce.aspx">Wyza.com.au.</a></span></em></p>

Health

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How to cope when you're getting a divorce

<p>Perhaps you were the instigator, after years of thought. Or your partner announced it, out of the blue. Maybe you decided together that things just weren’t working. The fact is, you’re now separated or divorced and there are a huge number of emotional and practical issues to deal with.</p> <p><strong>Are you OK?<br /></strong>Many people compare the end of a significant relationship with grieving for a lost friend or relative. You can experience strong feelings like fear, sadness, resentfulness, anger, confusion and bitterness to name just a few.</p> <p>Be mindful of both your mental health and physical wellbeing. It can be tempting to turn to food, smoking, alcohol, gambling, drugs, or promiscuous behaviour but none of these things bring long-term relief. Only time will help you heal, but with the help of friends or even a counsellor, this is possible.</p> <p><strong>Being practical<br /></strong>Ending a relationship that’s lasted a decade or more involves many practical issues. The first two key ones to address are where you plan to live, and what assets/income you’ll have to live on.</p> <p>According to Amy McGinn, Post Separation Services Manager of Relationships Australia, after separa-tion or divorce, many people need to learn how to handle their own finances for the first time. “It’s best to get independent financial advice; perhaps from a financial advisor. Relationships Australia offers property mediation to help couples split assets, and individual counselling to assist people with things like budgeting which can actually be quite empowering.”</p> <p><strong>Being positive<br /></strong>Whilst separation and divorce can be incredibly painful and challenging, Ms McGinn suggests you’ve got some new opportunities. “It’s the chance to make choices for yourself, rather than choices for a whole family. You can make new friends that don’t need to know your separation story; they just know you,” she says.</p> <p>You can start new hobbies without worrying about what your ex-partner thinks. You can try volunteering or work on your bucket list.</p> <p>If you need help, the following organisations offer information and/or assistance:</p> <p><a href="http://www.relationships.org.au/">relationshipsaustralia.org.au</a><br /><a href="http://www.beyondblue.org.au/">beyondblue.org.au</a><br /><a href="http://www.menslineaus.org.au/">menslineaus.org.au</a></p> <p><em>Written by Gabe McGrath. Republished with permission of <a href="https://www.wyza.com.au/articles/lifestyle/relationships/how-to-cope-when-youre-getting-a-divorce.aspx">Wyza.com.au.</a></em></p>

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